"If the you of today could go back in time and give advice to any of the previous yous, which age would you visit and what would you tell them?"

Have I learned nothing in my 40-year struggle in this crazy world? What would I say to a younger me that would make life easier? Should we even try to make life easier? I don't know what it is about life that makes us want to keep experiencing it, but something about figuring it out as I go is appealing.

That doesn't mean I've made mistakes, or that I don't regret any of my actions. In fact, if I could go back in time, I think I'd just give myself some practical advice. Imagine the shock of 20 year-old Andrea, innocently studying population genetics in Helen C. White library, as the current me pops into space and says "you REALLY don't want to eat that entire bag of Skittles." I'm sure her first reaction would be (ala Edna E. Mode of "The Incredibles") "my God you've gotten fat."

But come on, we didn't listen to our mothers or our aunts or any other adult who tried to spare us the pains of life, so why would we listen to our own future self? "Screw that, I'm eating the Skittles! Who made you so smart anyway?" I'm not too good at heeding advice. Perhaps I'm self-destructive in a way, because even when it's obvious that the smart thing to do is read "Gods Bits of Wood" because Professor Sheub told you that 30% of the final was going to be on that book, I still don't listen. My husband contends it's my contrary nature. "Tell Andrea to have a good day, and she'll go out of her way to make it bad."

As the Indigo Girls said so perfectly, "the hardest to learn was the least complicated." It doesn't take a future self to tell you what's best for you, it just requires you to pay attention and listen to yourself. And if you can't listen to your present self, the future self will have no more influence. We aren't trying to make our lives miserable, we just can't help ourselves. Today, if I received a visit from 50 year old Andrea (who better frickin' be thin, dammit) and she said "Andrea, stop wasting your time with computer games, you'll really appreciate it if you spend your time doing yoga and meditating," my response would be "no shit." I don't need the advice of thinner, older me to tell me what would make me happier. I already know. What I really need is the older me to come back with a cattle-prod and give me a good zap every time I log onto Steam.

But just in case I could make a difference, I'd go back and tell 35 year old Andrea to put a bra on with the dress she wears to the company Christmas party. She's going have a lot more fun if she's not worrying that people can tell.