The best and the worst thing about my life right now is being unemployed. I love having time to give to myself (now that Alex is in school). I can do yoga, take walks in the forest with my dog, have coffee with my friend Lisa, volunteer at the schools, and spend time writing. Obviously that is the best part. The worst part isn't the lack of income, although I'd prefer to have more savings for college and retirement. The worst part is the time to myself. Huh? Did I say that right? Well, yes, I did. You see, when I have a lot of time I don't tend to use it well. I keep thinking there is time to do things later, time for one more cup of coffee, and everything gets procrastinated. Then I end up not doing what I wanted to get done, and I get upset with myself. What am I doing with my life? Did I really spend the whole day watching Law & Order SVU? Plus, if I skip my walks or my yoga, my depression starts to creep back. The combination of self-doubt, low self-esteem, AND depression is not a good one. Depression keeps me from seeing what is good in my life, the good things I do, and what positive impact I am making. Not every day is spent watching TV. And I did manage to get all that laundry folded and put away while watching it.
But I can't keep procrastinating those activities that keep me sane. Yes, it's butt-cold outside, but the fresh air will do me good, and no one wants dog poop on the carpet anyway, so bundle up. I'm really not looking forward to doing camel pose, but remember how awesome it feels when I finally get to do savasana. And afterward I can treat myself to a cup of tea and a few minutes in my rocking chair watching the birds outside the window.As long as I can justify my time spent not working, and as long as Jon keeps rolling in the clients, I will get to live the good life. I'm sure in a couple years, when the kids are capable of being on their own after school, I'll go back to work. By then, maybe the economy will have rebounded and there will actually be a job out there. But whether it's working in a research lab at UW or working for Kwik Trip down the street, I hope to have developed some strong healthy habits that stick with me even when I don't have a lot of free time.
How do you like yoga? I tried it once (a tape I got so I wouldn't embarrass myself in public), and it was a disaster. I have a *horrible* sense of balance. I know the strength would come with time, but I don't think I'm ever gonna be able to keep my balance... Any suggestions for a uber baby beginner? :)
ReplyDeleteHey Mary,
ReplyDeleteNumber one bit of advice - be kind to yourself. If you can overcome your embarrassment, I'd recommend finding a class with a good teacher. A good teacher will help you not only find the correct position and modify properly for injuries, he or she will also help you be patient with where you are at. A late morning or early afternoon class is a good choice. There are more older people at these classes, and you won't find the ultra-flexible go-getters that you will in early morning and lunch-time classes. If you can't bring yourself to class, and you don't want to spend the money (which is tight for all of us, right?), I'm actually using a book right now that I recommend highly. It's "Yoga for Women" by Shakta Kaur Khalsa. I like books better than videos because you can go at YOUR pace. You also can choose which poses you want to do. My balance was horrible at first too. I've actually fallen down in class! It does get better. Start easy, hang on to a wall if you have to. Everyone was a beginner once! Namaste.