Writing assignments

Reverb Broads 12/8/11 prompt, courtesy of Kristen: Why blog? Why do you or why do you like to blog (recognizing that these are not always the same thing)?

 Just over three years ago, I left a 15-year career in biotechnology.  I didn't leave to be a stay-at-home mom, although that is what I ended up doing.  I left because I burned myself out.  I was crumbling at work, yelling at people, crying in meetings.  It didn't help that my husband just had been seriously ill and was recovering from surgery, but frankly I started to unwind even before then.  So I left, and I have absolutely no regrets.  It was the right decision hands-down.


But now my youngest is in school, and I'm here by myself (plus high-maintenance dog and 2 cats) in the house.  I enjoy volunteering in my kids' schools, but I needed another outlet.  I was bored and unmotivated, and my self-esteem was plunging.  A few friends had suggested that I write a blog.  I had started one almost a couple years ago, but didn't keep it up.  So this fall, I decided to get back into it.


I battle depression.  Although I take medication, I still struggle.  I really dread structure and control in my life, but I need it to keep me from sliding down into the dark pit.  So I've started giving myself "assignments."  If folding the laundry isn't an assignment, it won't get done.  But, as stimulating as folding laundry is, I need to use my brain more.  And less, actually.  Meditation and yoga are other "assignments."  


It's not that I don't enjoy writing, but when getting out of bed seems like an huge feat, writing a blog entry is feels impossible.  And when you feel that way, you don't willingly start brainstorming ideas.  You turn on the games and just go into autoplay.  So, writing the blog has become another assignment.  It is fun, and it is good for my soul, but I do it because it's due today.